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MENU KIDS STORE LOCATOR STOP SUING US!ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Despite what slanted anti-patriotic documentaries out there say -
Burger Shot is a shining emblem of the American way, the American
meal, and the American lifestyle. Stop in to Burger Shot, because
everybody likes to get their stinking meat between two dripping
moist buns! There is no smell quite like the moment you walk into
Burger Shot. Burning fat, decomposing fesh, day-old diarhea, rotting
vegetables, baby vomit, hobo sweat, and crack smoke all blend
together to form the delicious, unmistakable aroma of America’s
favorite national quick service restaurant chain. Burger Shot is a
symbol of hope for children around the world, Children in Nigeria see
us all bubbling out of our trousers, doing our part in the national
obesity epidemic and get so upset that they take out their anger by
sending spam emails.

You see, BS is a beacon at the head of a relentless march towards
cultural homogenisation - a little something we call progress. Over
the past 50 years, we have perfected the standardization of eating
environments that are impossible to relax in. It would not be Burger
Shot without the uncomfortable plastic seats, bright lighting and
mirrors that make you look like you have just come out of a meth
binge. We feed 50% of Americans every day and own more land than
all religious institutions combined. Everybody loves the flame-burnt,
painted on flavor of Burger Shot. A 48-hour aftertaste is a small price
to pay when you can feed the whole family for $3. Our food is
cheap in the short term and costly in the long term. Just like our economic
policies. Great.