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MENU KIDS STORE LOCATOR STOP SUING US!ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

- Your sister really takes it... a lot.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

- Your sister's friends have always laughed at you and assume you are
penile puny.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

- Most liberals are unsure of their sexual orientation.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

- ⁠90% of taste comes from smell (kind of disgusting to think what you
are tasting when the stench of a bum's butt mud hits you on a packed
subway!. We pay flavor companies in Alderney billions of dollars toㅤㅤ
douse our food in sweet-smelling beef juice. Just like a girl puts onㅤㅤ
make-up, and dumps perfume on her poo-poo-la-la, we brush all ourㅤ
burgers with mascara to give them that flame-broiled look after theyㅤ
are nuked in the microwave. If we took away theㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
chemically-manipulated smell and char-grill paint, you would be left ㅤ
with a damp, grey slab of livestock matter that smells like your ㅤ ㅤㅤ
grandmother's crotch.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

- So much goes into a Burger Shot burger... including cigarette butts,
used condoms, beer bottles, old newspapers, glue and antifreeze. Weㅤ
firmly believe that the life of a diseased animal should not be in vain ㅤ
and we make sure that nothing goes to waste: urine, vomit and fecal ㅤ
matter all get swept into the meat pit.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

- We've stopped cooking our fries in lard and have switched to aㅤㅤㅤ
mixture of hydrogenated vegetable oil and beef extract. Ssssh! Don'tㅤ
tell the gastronomically ludicrous religious freaks and theㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
vegetarians! They have just as much saturated fat but, hey, that isㅤㅤ
better than cholesterol!ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

- You can now get salad. Happy now?! Who goes to a fast food restaurant
to eat salad? Sorry, but this makes us really angry. So ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ
angry, in fact, that we decided to load our salad cups with more fat ㅤㅤㅤ
than the burgers! Begrudgingly, we will also be adding deep-friedㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ
broccoli to the menu at the end of the year. Stick that in your artery ㅤ ㅤ
and smoke it.

- ⁠Just to keep you off our back, we are going to start putting very ㅤㅤㅤ
conservative estimates of fat and calorie content on the burger ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ
boxes. This way you can find out at least part of the horrifying truthㅤ ㅤ
AFTER you have purchased the sandwich. It is then up to you ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ
whether you eat it, throw it in the trash or save half for the next dayㅤ ㅤ
(not recommended).ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ